A Formula that Works
I’m the kind of person who enjoys formulas. Who doesn’t? If there’s a guaranteed method to make money, lose weight, gain intelligence, grow closer to God, by all means, let’s get on board and reap the benefits.
“Fast tracking” seems to make sense.
Yet most of us don’t avail ourselves to the proven experiences of others.
There is one formula, however, we would be very wise to make our own. I found it in scripture and so far, it’s kept me out of some potential troubles and deep waters.
This formula is proven to help you maintain and grow beautiful relationships, become a better leader, improve parenting skills, and win at marriage!
Want to know what this incredibly powerful formula is so you can apply it to your own life? Well, without further ado, here it is:
http://lumiistyle.com/wp-json/oembed/1.0/ Q1 S2=Joy4U
I told you it was awesome. But you’ll need more info to make this one work for you. Consider this passage in the Holy Bible;
Did you see it? God’s wise command, written through James is this; Be Quick to LISTEN, Slow to SPEAK or become ANGRY. This formula works to produce incredible results because it’s founded on the spiritual laws of Jesus’ Word.
In my book, When the Woman You Love Was Abused: A Husband’s Guide to Helping His Wife Overcome Childhood Molestation, I write on how to listen to others, especially trauma victims.
“Poor listening skills usually reflect selfishness or ignorance. The listener either doesn’t want to hear what’s being said, or they aren’t aware that their listening style is ineffective.
A survivor can immediately detect poor listening. You may be ineffectively listening if she shuts down and refuses to open up. Her flow of words becomes clogged, and it may take a while for her to open up and build trust again. Here are the ways you will draw out the heart of a trauma victim or clog her;”
optatively Listening That Draws
- Give your undivided attention
- Listen to learn; to know; to understand
- Accept what you hear without judgment
- Don’t be afraid of silence
- Ask reflective questions
http://macayanez.com/project/valdivia-mac/ Listening That Clogs
- Don’t try to fix, sit in what you’ve heard
- Don’t value your response over what someone just shared
- Don’t minimize pain
- Don’t over-react
- Don’t respond before you ask a follow-up question
- Don’t formulate your answer while another is speaking. That’s not listening.
You won’t always be talking with trauma survivors, but the above ideas remain important methods for listening.
Other guidelines for listening include:
- Seek to understand…later you can be understood
- In humility, listen to the stories and experience of others
- Hear the pain and broken-heartedness of people
- Listen and lean into the realities shared with you
- Listen without…ok but…
- DON’T DEFLECT
- Listen with intent to learn not to teach
I hope you’ll take this proven formula — Q1 S2=Joy4U — to heart and enjoy the fruits of an improved life! God’s Word always works.